It’s weird to grieve someone who is still alive, to grieve a friendship. You go from talking every single day to rarely talking at all. They were there, then nowhere to be found. No dramatic ending. No closure. Just gone. I’m still waiting though. For those crumbs.
I know things aren’t meant to last forever. I know people come and people go. I know this. I’ve lived it time and time again. I just thought I found something different. A safe friendship. Something that would come and not go.
I wish it didn’t go. I wish it didn’t hurt the way it does.
I hate that I still care about them. That I still love them and wish them all the happiness and blessings in life. That my brain still reaches for them when I least expect it. That it thinks they’re still one of my ‘people’. Like I’m still supposed to know how their day went. Like I’m still allowed to care.
But I’m learning… sometimes you don’t get closure.
Sometimes you just have to accept the silence and call it what it is. Sometimes you have to just let go.